/ / The most important question of them all (and how to stop dodging it).

The most important question of them all (and how to stop dodging it).

I am not the first person to raise this issue. But it’s a really important one so that’s why I’m making it my focus this month. 

Through teaching the Alexander Technique I have turned up my awareness, both about how I am feeling and how my clients are too.

The first interesting thing I’ve learnt is that many people find it difficult to tap into how they are.

At first.

They deflect the ‘how are you?’ question with something else,

Like ‘Super busy with work’

Or ‘My daughter’s been having a tough time sleeping’

Or ‘We just moved house.’

Rather than being able to reply straight away with something that’s about themselves.

The thing they mention is sort of related to the question, but it doesn’t answer it.

Leaving it all a bit unclear. 

Which makes ‘how are you?’ a very unsatisfactory exchange a lot of the time.

This is rubbish for 2 reasons. 

1)     Us humans are social beings and we need to connect honestly and openly to be happy. 

2)     If we don’t articulate how we are feeling (good, bad or ugly) feelings build up inside us in unhealthy ways.

We are born to express ourselves and if we don’t things will go out of control. And fun and freedom recede too.

I am an ex-workaholic who has answered ‘super busy with work’ as default more times than I like to recall.

So I do understand.  And that’s why I’m very good at helping people recover and reclaim their bodies and their minds so they feel and live bigger lives.

I have learnt that however good we are at work, we are important beyond work too.

Finding yourself in amongst the ‘busy’ is absolutely possible with the right guidance.

It’s like building up a muscle in fact, it starts out feeling hard but results soon start to show and it becomes enjoyable.

So lets start.

I want you to close your eyes and REALLY notice how you are feeling.

Don’t judge it.

Just feel it.

For 2 minutes.

Set a timer.


Now you need to have to have the courage to say it… even if just to yourself

It might not be how you want to feel, or it might be great. 

Funnily enough both of those extremes are often things we’re not comfortable sharing. 

Or it might be something more distinctly average.

Whatever your answer, this is your signpost today towards the life you actually want to be living.

Because your body TELLS THE TRUTH.

I think that one of the biggest barriers to health is losing your ability to LISTEN to your body.

I meet so many people that have taken years to listen and take the necessary action.

In the meantime their body is paying the price, over and over. Putting up with pain, exhaustion, burnout or just plain tiredness that lingers and lingers.

The biggest change you might be able to make this month could be just asking yourself everyday ‘how am I feeling?’

BIG bonus points if you are able to tell someone else your answer.

This has been a tough year in so many different ways and things will only get harder for you if you’re not able to be honest with yourself.  

We are not robots and our feelings are our greatest


Of course you don’t have to tell absolutely everyone who asks ‘how are you?’ your deepest innermost feelings. There is a balance to be struck here that you will have to decide on for yourself, based on what makes you feel cared for and comfortable.

But at the very least you have to answer the question to yourself.


I’ll be sharing the tools I use this month to help me stay feelings aware and I hope they help you too.  You’ll find them and me at https://www.instagram.com/atyourbestmove

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