I am into change in a big way. I absolutely believe that most things in life could be improved, from my own behaviour, to systems at work, to the education system to pretty much the whole global order.
I could not get up every day and be happy if I didn’t believe this, it’s a big part of who I am, what I think us humans are here for and how I see the world.
So you’d be forgiven for thinking I am one of those people that just finds change easy.
But the reality is different, it’s more like some things are, some things aren’t and some are deeply difficult even though I really want them.
I thought I’d spend some time this month having a think and sharing what I’ve learnt about change:
- Change often starts with knowing what you don’t want. For example, I do not want to be hunched over as I get older.
- Change is acknowledging life as it currently, could be improved in some way. This doesn’t need to mean you don’t like your life, it’s more that there is space for other things to grow that you either also like or potentially like more.
- Change is more likely to happen if you take small steps frequently, rather than big leaps from time to time. I need to remind myself of this all the time. I find consistency hard but actually I’m happiest and feel most chilled when I’m doing daily small things to move me along the paths I want to explore.
- Change is not feeling like it and doing it anyway. Happiness is realising that the not feeling like it even though you really want it conundrum is normal!
- Change is emotional. You will have different feelings about it ALL THE TIME.
- Change is about self-acceptance and a willingness to go it alone.
- You can block your own change from taking root. This is an important one. Even when you’re working towards change, you can still be blocking it normally unconsciously. This leads to frustration. There’s a lot to be gained from calmly and consciously thinking what you need to let go of so that you can make room for what you want.
- You might find you have to remind yourself that you’re worthy of what you want. Again this might be happening unconsciously, a lot of us are running old software that tells us we’re not actually the kind of person that can have that thing. You need to reboot. An example for me is my inner voice telling myself I’m disorganised, even though I run two businesses and have multiple clients and have loads of examples that show I’m plenty organised at getting it done. The new software is written like this, ‘I’m organised and I want to find even better systems that mean organisation happens even easier’.
- Change is happening whether you’re up for it or not. Happiness is jumping into the river of change willingly and with a curiosity about where it will take you.
- And now for the biggie – sometimes the change you want THE MOST is the one you find it toughest to even start working on. Somehow it feels too raw, too deep, too much to even got there.
But go there you must my friend! Otherwise, you’re always going to be living some sort of shadow-life that however great will still leave you feeling a bit unfulfilled. I know I have been there,
Alexander Technique is a fab skill that connects the body and mind and gets them working better together. This harmony will help you connect with what you really want. If you’re curious to try it with me, you can now book a free 20-minute demonstration where I can show you how. If you want to talk about any of the themes that have come up here please take advantage of this offer. I find this is a HUGE subject for a lot of people.
I found this 5 stages cycle of change model last year and thought it was so helpful that I made it into a graphic and wanted to share it with you. Changing my expectations about what change feels like has helped me a lot.
Does this help you? I’d love to know!
Drop me an email and tell me if this does or doesn’t help.